Real Problems

Today's problems are yesterday's news. And yet again all of them are still here. Never leaving. Always present. It starts with A, it goes to B, then C follows, and on and on and on. A never ending story. What we do is try to hide them, put them away and try to forget them. But from time to time they come back, they strike, and they remind us that they are still here. Now what? We fight and we struggle, but half way through we give up. The problem with that is that there's no way back. No return point. So what's left? The so called "reality". But is this reality? How long would it take till you realise? You're fighting the wrong fights. You're not solving any problems but just hunt a thought in your head. You fail to see what's really there. You're chasing the wrong paths. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you. The real problem is yourself. Once you've learned how to live with "you", everything else should be a walk in the park. Problems come and go every day. But you are always there. Accept yourself as you are and see the difference. You are the one variable that never changes.

Racism?

I'm caught off guard. I actually can't believe the level of racism, implanted in young people. No matter what you say, still under their own experiences they should know better. Instead they hold a certain amount of hatred against people of other nationalities. Having to go through the experience of listening the way they talk is something unbearable. Who is responsible for this and why? Why so much hate? All this way of thinking, what good does it make? We failed again. A new generation reaching legal age with so much hate on its back. Well done world. Another step backwards. Congratulations.

Counting People...

I live among people. And yet again i'm invisible as ever. I live among people. And yet again all i see is statues. I live among people. Do i really live among people? I try to count them all, but half way through i loose the count. Why am i counting them? What's the point? No matter how many i count i'm still here alone. Nothing changed, nothing will. At the end of every count there's only one result. 1 person standing. Me. I made the wrong choices every single time. I took all the wrong turns. But for what reason? What was i thinking? I know it's all my mistake but is it wrong to wanna try for something better? Is it wrong to wanna do more? Is it wrong? I played and i lost. I turn around and there's nothing. While i was playing, behind me everything was disappearing. I guess the joke's on me. I have nothing more to bet. All the hopes and dreams left from the back door. I looked away and everything escaped. I was left behind with this. "Live your life where you are, i don't want to hold you back". How the fuck am i supposed to live my life now? You left me with none to live with! You're telling me to live with something that isn't there! Don't patronize me like this. At-list give me the finger and send me to hell. I'm sorry, you already did. So i guess now i must move on? And what should i tell to myself? What was my part all those years? Was i the bad guy to the story? Was i the huge irresponsible senseless selfish dick who cares for no one? What was my part? What was it? What is my part now? Oh sorry, i'm not in the cast anymore. I guess that's what i am now. An unemployed actor with no future. I know some people who would laugh their asses off if they knew about this. But who cares? Am just an actor. Unemployed. Counting people. Result. 1.

"Bad Dog"

What is history? I know for a fact that most of the stuff been said about me are nothing more than lies. Who's to say that the stuff we read in books or any other form are not lies too? We judge based on what? Are we really that sure that what it is presented to us is real? Do we really know what reality is? I came to find that most of the stuff i knew as a kid are true. Everything they taught me as history and what is the way to live are nothing more than bullshit. I have these flashbacks all of a sadden and i laugh with my self. How is this possible? I've been outsmarted by my own self as a kid! The 8yearold me is more wise than me now! In the end it comes down to 1 question. How much have i learned so far? And the answer is NOTHING! We live as consumers, we think as consumers, we act as consumers. We are nothing more than materialistic bastards! But what we consume is more than physical. We also consume information. It doesn't matter if the information is true or false. Still we consume it endlessly. Videos, movies, books, music ............... I wonder what it is that we consume more. And now you know. Information is the most consumable product. Bad news is that unlike food, you can't see if it's rotten or expired or simply not "eatable". For that reason you need your own common sense. You need to think for your self and not taking anyone's opinion for reality. But unfortunately people are really really stupid. They are deceived so easily on a daily basis. You see, like dogs, people are trained to do what they are told. Trained how to think. Trained how to live! Well, nothing more to say. I guess i'm a "bad dog".

p.s. We all know what they do to "bad dogs". They put them down.

A Stupid Idiot said...

In many cases, any thoughts that come in mind, i write them down directly. What i do afterwords is to take all these thoughts and put them together. As a result, i have a script, which i need to work with. Check for grammar mistakes, see if it evolves in a meaningful way and see if the final state represents my original thoughts. Well, as you can tell from my previous posts, i am not a professional! I didn't had any education on how to write or be a writer, and everything i do, i do it on my own. For this post i've decided to share my original thoughts as they come in my head. I can't sit and explain how i had them, but i will put them here "raw". Many will not make any sense, but this is my way of thinking. Making sense its work in progress. I just hope that you'll understand the meaning of some.

"i am alone. i need someone to help me so i can fight for what i believe. i'm in a situation where i can't do anything on my own and i need help. i am ashamed just for asking, but i am willing to put my self in that position, in order to be able to help someone else when my turn comes."

"slavery exist even today. money is her fuel."

"freedom today is corrupted. you are free. free to choose from what i give you to choose."

" tell me something. anything. i will believe you. but i want you to believe me too. please don't read just my cover. read the story inside. meet the person that lives there. he has so much to give and offer. so much he can do. all you need to do is to give him a chance to speak. he doesn't care about tittles. he cares for what good can he do and how much. meet him. he doesn't want to feel alone. help him to show the world, the reality behind its eyes."

"i do not consider luck to be a real thing, but i often use the word to describe a situation. there for i am unlucky. i've been through allot, and my status was never "good". but still, i saw the real beauty of things. i know what's not out there but it's being presented to me as a reality. i refuse to accept what they put in front of me. this is not what i want. this is not what i am. help me become something more. more than a programmed toy. i am not an intellectual person. but i am real and i am alive. i need to choose and i need to make mistakes. i need to reach whatever it is that i can do. right now, i am nothing but scared. only with help i will become strong."

"i know i can't change the world. but i can sure try. it doesn't matter how many i'll reach. it will still be a great achievement. all it matters is doing something worth doing."

"i've been a liar all my life. i hope i can forgive myself for all those lies i've told me."

"don't make a wish. make it happen."

"stop treating Countries like businesses. start treating them like families. they need people who care."

"to all politicians and many more ...
you see a Country like a business. All you care about is profit. You don't set public but personal goals. You have this idea that because of your position you should be rewarded all the time. You think you are above the law. You think you never make mistakes.
a country is like a family. It needs people who care. It needs people who pursuit public interest. People who act without seeking rewards. People who are not afraid to admit their mistakes. And the law goes for everyone."

"we want to be governed by people with ideals. not corrupted corporations."

"we need people who count values. not money."

"kids want to grow up to be doctors. so they can help other people. not for fat salaries. we've exchanged dreams for money."

"fascism and racism hate each other. fascism believes he's always right and racism thinks he's the only one with a right."

"if tomorrow is the day i'll die, today i want it to be the day i live."

"finding the answer is more important than the answer itself."

"i'm just a stupid idiot. A stupid idiot with a dream. Alone, i can't do anything. But with the help of powerful people, this stupid idiot becomes more. Can do more. I want to start a butterfly effect. A butterfly effect of love."

"nature is the best example we have. There's so much we can do. So much we can offer. We are the answer."

"if we must feel anything, that is the pain we cause. That is the person next to us.."

"we feed only our ego. It is time to stop. We are connected in so many ways and still, we turned these connections into some kind of tasteless form. What good does it make if i'm "ok" and 100 others are dying. What good does it make if i'm driving a really expensive car while someone doesn't have anything to feed his family. We enjoy things that last minutes, and we take lifetimes away from others. We trade life for a few seconds of fun."

"some say who cares, this is how it will always be. NO. We can be the change we want. You want to give up? Give up on today. Not on tomorrow."


Think what you want. These are some of my thoughts and i am sharing them with you. I will not say "i hope you understand". Just realise how much we change our minds every second, and how does that effect us. Again these are some of my thoughts. No one said you have to like them. Feel as you like. Thank you.

"The Story of an Idiot"

If i ever wrote a book starring my life, it would have as a tittle "The Story of an Idiot". Trust me, it's a really big story with an idiot going through so many things that you'll get lost by reading it. Let me tell you a fracture of that story of an idiot. This idiot in a certain point of his life, had to make a choice for his future. At that time, in order to take the next step, he had to kill his believes and what he knew to be truth. Doing so that idiot came to the conclusion that in order to leave, he shouldn't say anything to the people he knew he would hurt the most. The idiot left without goodbye. On his journey to the new, he found out that the reason he left everything behind was nothing more than a lie. A lie that he paid at full cost. Because the person he would hurt the most, past away while he was realizing he was living in a lie. Everyone was there to say goodbye but him. And now the idiot missed 2 chances to say goodbye. And now the idiot stands in silence. And now the idiot stops.

Think Positive

Here it comes. Another disappointment.Trying so hard, again and again, but still nothing. No difference at all. What the f*ck am i doing wrong? Is it my face? Is it the sound of my voice? My smell? What?

In the end it comes down to others. You can't control everything. If they're going to like you it's entirely up to them and there's nothing you can do about it. Same old sh*t. I mean f*ck, what else am i suppose to do. Dead end. Moments like these i go in despair. "Think positive". What a joke.

Apology not Accepted

You do what you do and then you disappear. I make you disappear. Because i don't want you any more. I can't have you as a part of my life. You bring me only bad memories. It doesn't matter how long its been, still i don't care and i most definitely don't want your apology. You can put it in your ... For me you are a past. Not present and for sure not future. Don't come to me with this sorrowful attitude asking for forgiveness after so long. I've buried you once and even if you're bringing me pain again i am going to bury you again. I've learned the hard way not to trust you so don't ask of me to do the same mistake again. Am not going to. Go now and leave me the f*ck alone. For me you are nothing. Go destroy someone else. That's your main ability. You touch and you destroy. So hands off and bye bye. The tears that you're looking in my eyes are tears of anger and not of sorrow. So please stop standing there and go away. Apology not Accepted. F*ck off.

Joseph Monks

Empty

Here i am again. Empty. Sitting in a room alone thinking over and over again. It's actually funny. I've kind of missed this. Don't get me wrong, it's just that i find it easy to write this way. But still having someone next to me makes a really big difference. The wall alone wont do. No matter how much i say it wont answer. God i miss you so bad. I'm in an empty room, in an empty body, and i'm thinking of you. I'm missing you.